IF…. You have taken time out of your busy day to listen to our Podcasts (please do….. We’d appreciate it), OR watched maybe some of our YouTube videos (again… please do… and like, comment, and subscribe… please) OR OR OR even followed our instagram @throatpunchproductions you probably already know that one of us (Wes) lives that infamous #vanlife at least 4-5 days a week. The title of this Blog post is simply put, my mind telling me that I’ve got to continue this project, and more specifically…. As I sit in my bed while watching my 27” TV hooked to my Apple TV, powered by my iPhone hotspot. Sounds rough right? LOL.

Since getting this van it seems like it’s been a constant work in progress, and one that for some reason I’ve not yet finished. I have partially finished walls, partially wired the entire thing, partially put down a floor, partially built my “kitchen”…. Noticing a pattern yet? Partially. This wasn’t something that I wanted to just rush into like I typically do. This was something to me that would A) save me a ton of money B) give me the ability to travel more and C) give me a mental release that wasn’t videos or photography or music or anything that I normally turn to. This was my chance to feel like I use to when I did construction. Dirty hands, using my mind to create things from wood. Seeing different options and deciding which would be the most cost effective and useful for myself as well. I can say that the planning building and constant changing has been my favorite part. The trials and errors within this are more like the rest of my life. Having a “brilliant idea” and then failing miserably, only to come up with yet another “more brilliant idea” which too fails. But that is life, and life …. well… it is what it is.

These moments that I sit here and think back about where this started, where it currently is, and where I know it will end up they make me think. I wonder what would have happened had I of adopted this mind set 5 years ago. The want to be free. The desire to travel more. The ability to not worry about “things” and worry more about DOING things. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older. Maybe it’s because I tend to push people away when I shouldn’t. Could be that I have finally just realized that our days our numbered no matter what we do. No matter what “things” we have, or how much money is in a bank account. I think that I’ve probably realized that when I lay down at 70 years old and my mind is fading…. That I want to be able to smile within my memories. Remember the smell of the crisp morning air. The feel of the sun as it covers my back on those sunny days. Remember the beauty of mountains, or clouds above the ocean, or looking at a set of mountain ranges covered in snow while standing 13,000 feet below in shorts. These are the things that I BELIEVE I need. Experiences…. Friends…. Family….

If I sold this van tomorrow, and never lived in another, I’ve learned that. I’ve learned that I’m NOT who I thought I was, and I don’t want what I thought I did, nor do I want to end up where I was headed. I’ve made many bad decisions, some of which I may never be able to love down, but at the end of the day I’ve at least been able to say these words, and mean them.

“I was wrong”